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A life perspective from a "ROJAK" blood (Mixed Blood)

Unstoppable

The year 2014.

I know it is the 16th day since the new year and the title of the post might be a little cliché but that’s the title of the book that I am currently reading.

So, what does ‘Unstoppable’ has to do with anything?

I began to think that despite the efforts to slow time down for certain purposes and reasons, no time in the world can be stop for your own selfish reasons.

In the 16 days alone, I had already experienced anger, love, sadness, hurt and happiness. So I have no idea what the remaining 349 days will bring me. However, I am ready to accept and challenge it face on with a slight procrastination perhaps on the side…

(Intermission of the boyfriend calling about what size my chamomile tea he’s buying from Starbucks.)

Since the first day, I’m pretty content with what was happening in my life. Some things still bothered me though but most of the time, I’m fine because I still have my boyfriend around.

Sadly, he will be leaving back to his workplace the day after tomorrow. (Insert a seriously ugly sad face.)

I’m happy that his holiday this time is longer than the usual 14 days that he usually took meaning I get to be with him for extra time. I do agree that at times, I do get selfish and wish to have him all for myself but of course, that would be impossible.

I feel double the happiness as this year, we came to conclusion that we will take the big step in the next 2 years time period.

Why two years time?

I am down with 3 more semesters to go, by then I will finish my studies. Yes, I am aware that I am still studying for my degree cert (and I’m trying very hard to attain it!) at the age of 26. If you want to know the reason, come and ask me personally and I’ll give you the full detail with dramatic gestures included. Haha!

Despite the time frame of 2 years time, that is 23 months including this month, I am already excited and getting ahead of myself, especially on Pinterest. Boy! I pinned lots of things on that app!

Yeah, I know I shouldn’t get too excited and make myself appear to be an idiot in everyone’s eyes but I just can’t help it. I guess that urge to take that next step in life is bubbling inside of me. (Laughing like crazy.)

I guess I feel the rush because ever since last year, I’ve been seeing wedding pictures, attending wedding receptions and scrolling through kids’ first day of school pictures on Facebook. Yes, some of the classmates/ schoolmates, their kids are already attending school. That would make their kid, like what, at least 4 years of age.

Gasp!

I don’t feel as if I’m marrying at a late age but somehow the peer-pressure of seeing your peers already in their working world, starting their life as a husband or wife, some mother or father, it just brings out the “what-the-heck-have-you-been-doing-all-these-time?!!” kind of thinking.

I try to suppress it. At times I succeed and managed to sweep it back to the dark corner in my mind but most time, it just bothers me and honestly, it can give a negative effect on my thinking and opinion on myself in life. And it kills me sometimes.

It is true! You are your own worst enemy!! (SMACK SELF!)

But I am thankful for my mum who is constantly reassuring me that I am not weird because I am not married yet. Haha! You may think it is in a bad way but it is not. I guess, it is the normal reaction from a parent who marry at a very early age.

My mum got married at the age of 23 and my dad was only 18. I even made a promise to myself that I would not marry at those age.

At 18, I passed it without getting hitch but I was in two weird relationships that year. My boyfriend was not one of those, he was the one after those two.

At 23, I am already in a long term and long-distance relationship with my boyfriend. It should be my 4th year with the boyfriend, the non-honeymoon-it’s-a-flocking-reality time of the relationship.

This year will be the 7th year on our amour. Hopefully there won’t be any 7th year itch. (Touch wood. Paranoid.)

It will be a struggle to save up money for the future as both of us has lots of family members. I think the amount of members can make me fall into an anxiety attack. However, it would be a good practise for my PR skills on event management and bla bla bla. (Nerd alert!)

Please tell me am I crazy and should I stop myself from being in this state of excitement and happiness?

Our first 2014 picture together.
Our first 2014 picture together.

All of Me

By: John Legend

[Verse]
What would I do without your smart mouth
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
Got my head spinning, no kidding, I cant pin you down
What’s going on in that beautiful mind
I’m on your magical mystery ride
And I’m so dizzy, don’t know what hit me, but I’ll be alright

[Bridge]
My head’s underwater
But I’m breathing fine
You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind

[Chorus]
Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I’ll give my all to you
You’re my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I’m winning
Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh

[Verse]
How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you’re crying you’re beautiful too
The world is beating you down, I’m around through every mood
You’re my downfall, you’re my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues
I can’t stop singing, it’s ringing, in my head for you

[Bridge]
My head’s underwater
But I’m breathing fine
You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind

[Chorus]
Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I’ll give my all to you
You’re my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I’m winning
Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, all of you!

Cards on the table, we’re both showing hearts
Risking it all, though it’s hard

[Chorus]
Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I’ll give my all to you
You’re my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I’m winning
Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you

I give you all of me
And you give me all, all of you, oh

Cheating

By: John Newman (@JohnNewmanMusic)

 

I saw you Sunday, Monday
Hanging with your man again
You came back on a Tuesday
With that cold-heart look of shameOh I could love you better
Better than you once knew
And if you’re cheating, cheat on, yeah
’cause cheating’s just a thing you do
It’s just a thing you doI saw you Friday, Saturday
Tearing up another heart
You came home a’ crying
Why’d you take it all so hard?

You know I love you better
Better than you once knew
And if you’re cheating, cheat on, yeah
But I would never cheat on you

Yeah, I could love you better
Better than you once knew
And if you’re cheating, cheat on, yeah
‘Cause cheating’s just the thing you do
It’s just a thing you do, yeah

Ohhh
I’ve been told you baby
Girl you done some things so bad to me
And I know

[X2]
You are the one who’s creeping,
You are the one who’s cheating,
But if you’re heart is beating,
Bring it on, bring it to me.

[X2]
You are the one who’s creeping
You are the one who’s cheating
But if you’re heart is beating
Bring it on, bring it to me.

I could love you better
Better than you once knew
And if you’re cheating, cheat on, yeah
But I would never cheat on you, no.

I could love you better
Better than you once knew
And if you’re cheating, cheat on, yeah
‘Cause cheating’s just a thing you do, oh no no no

 


Music Playlist

So, this is what I’m going to do. I’m going to close my eyes and pick a song that is in my mobile phone because I realized that with much songs in my phone, I never get to listen from the first song through the last. I think it will take about 5 hours worth, probably. So that’s how I will choose the first song. The second song and third and so on will be put on random uptill the tenth song. Here goes!

알리 (ALi) – 365일 (Days)

This is one of my favourite song of ALi because of her powerful voice. Her voice always give me goosebumps and it always manages to capture my softside.

Kelly Clarkson – Dark Side

Who wouldn’t love Kelly Clarkson, the very first American Idol!

Rascal Flatts – Words I Couldn’t Say

One of my favourite country band, Rascal Flatts. It’s a shame that outside of America, they are not really that well-known because I truly love Gary LeVox’s voice. Besides that, they mostly sing inspirational songs, songs that picks you up when you are down. With his voice, you can feel the song deep in your heart.

Juanes – La Paga

Ahh, Juanes. The first song I heard from him was La Camisa Negra. He has that catchy vibe in this songs, the kind of vibe where you want to dance like Shakira hahaha!

Casting Crowns – Wedding Day

Casting Crowns is a Christian band with many inspiring songs. Wedding Day is one of my favourite, meaning a guy marries his girl despite the past because he loves her so much that he looks past her past.  It’s a very meaningful song indeed.

James Vincent McMorrow – Higher Love

I’m not sure whether most of you would like this kind of song, but yeah, I’m a fan of this Irish singer. His songs are in the folk-indie genre. Most of my songs in the phone, sorry to say, are indie songs.

The Swon Brothers – I Won’t Back Down

They don’t have the video for this particular song. If you watched The Voice, you would know that The Swon Brothers were from last season, Team Blake! Perhaps this song instead, Wagon Wheel by the brothers. I think they sing it better than the original singer actually. So, it’s Wagon Wheel instead to give you a hear of their amazing voices.

Birdy – Without A Word

Another Indie singer from Britain. If you see the video on YouTube, you would realize that most people commented R.I.P. Bonnie. That’s because this song was featured on The Vampire Diaries when one of the character, Bonnie died. I think. Sorry, I left TVD a long time ago. Sorry, Ian Somerhalder.😛

Darius Rucker – Wagon Wheel

The original singer of Wagon Wheel.

And lastly, MFBTY – The Cure

Tasha and Tiger! My favourite Korean Hip-Hop couple in the world. How can you not fall in love with Tasha’s voice? And also not to forget Bizzy. And I truly love Jordan’s laugh at the end of the song, signifying the cure for the couple. Jordan is Tasha and Tiger’s son.

And so, that’s it! The 10 random songs from my playlist. So, what’s yours?

Counting Stars

By: OneRepublic

Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We’ll be counting stars, yeah we’ll be counting stars

I see this life like a swinging vine
Swing my heart across the line
And my face is flashing signs
Seek it out and you shall find
Old, but I’m not that old
Young, but I’m not that bold
I don’t think the world is sold
I’m just doing what we’re told
I feel something so right
Doing the wrong thing
I feel something so wrong
Doing the right thing
I could lie, coudn’t I, could lie
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive

Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We’ll be counting stars

Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We’ll be, we’ll be counting stars

I feel the love and I feel it burn
Down this river, every turn
Hope is a four-letter word
Make that money, watch it burn
Old, but I’m not that old
Young, but I’m not that bold
I don’t think the world is sold
I’m just doing what we’re told
I feel something so wrong
Doing the right thing
I could lie, could lie, could lie
Everything that drowns me makes me wanna fly

Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We’ll be counting stars

Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We’ll be, we’ll be counting stars

Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons are learnt

Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons are learnt

Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons are learnt

Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons are learnt

Everything that kills me makes feel alive

Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We’ll be counting stars

Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We’ll be, we’ll be, counting stars

Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons are learnt

Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons are learnt

Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons are learnt

Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons are learnt

Make Peace With Your Past

Hello people!

I know I have not been posting anything for a very long, long time. I was actually caught up with lots of things in my studies and at home.Most of the time I just meditate in my room to suck in total silence and mind relaxation.

Decided to catch up with my blogging and found a draft with this title on the right hand side of the screen. “Make Peace With Your Past.” I don’t quite remember what was I going to write about, honestly.

I admit, in the past, I have done many wrongdoings and hurt lot of people with my temper and short-comings (still do sometimes) but eventually as I get older, I began to realize that it’s just a waste of time and energy to do so. In the end, I became more rational in my actions and speaking.

Speaking of making peace, I made peace with a friend yesterday. I think we have not been speaking to each other for about 2-3 years due to a misunderstanding that took place in the past. Over the years, it was one of the things that kept on bugging me at the back of my mind. Had been trying to contact her but I couldn’t. So finally, yesterday I managed to contact her and apologized for all the wrongdoings and bad sayings towards her. I guess because of the length of time that had past between us, tears naturally felled and for the first time in a long time, I was relieved. I finally got to let go of that matter from my conscience and mind.

I am grateful that she accepted my apology as well as apologizing to myself as well. It was probably emotional on my behalf, not sure about hers but I’m happy that I got a friend back into my life. I’m happy to know that’s she’s engaged now, will have a wedding next year. And what a small world, her fiancée is actually related to me from my mother’s side. Apparently he’s my third cousin!

It might seems hard to actually open your mouth and say you’re sorry but the outcome is worth it. Some people may not accept your apology but still, if you are sincere enough despite the negative feedback, at least you would feel good in easing your conscience. Resulting in a peaceful mindset in life.

So, if you have to make peace with anyone; be it your family, friends or anyone, gather up your courage, smile with sincerity and say, “I really am sorry for my wrong doings towards you. I hope you can open your heart to accept my apology.” Hopefully, things will work well with you.

 

Much love,

Lyssa

One of Us

By: Joan Osbourne

If God had a name, what would it be
And would you call it to his face
If you were faced with him in all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question

And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home

If God had a face what would it look like
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like heaven and in jesus and the saints and all the prophets

And yeah yeah god is great yeah yeah god is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
He’s trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome

And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if god was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
Just trying to make his way home
Like a holy rolling stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just trying to make his way home
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome

My First Time Voting

5th May 2013 marked the very first time that I’d voted for my beloved country, Malaysia.

My index finger with the "indelible" ink and my polling station paper
My index finger with the “indelible” ink and my polling station paper

I went to the polling station at SK Senadin around 2.00p.m. and it was quite convenient at that time as there were not many people waiting in line. I only had to wait for a guy before me to vote before I was allowed in the voting room.

Other than that, it was quiet and peaceful, no one made such fuss or even disturbed anyone in the area.

That night, I was quite nervous waiting for the results but P.219 – Miri ‘s result took quite a long time to be officiated by EC. It was official around 11p.m, if I was not mistaken. Dr. Michael Teo of Parti Keadilan Rakyat (PKR) won the seat. I was ecstatic!

Although it means that Miri is now in an opposition party’s leadership, I was quite pleased with the results. However, the overall Parliament results were not in favour with most of the rakyats’ wish.

And among that, there were many reports of frauds and tricks being carried out in several areas in order to swing the majority votes to the current ruling government party. For example, in Bentong and Lembah Pantai. Google it if you want to know on what happened in those two areas.

However, the monkey acts doesn’t stop there.

The aftermath of GE13 are the “brilliant” remarks by our nation’s important figures.

The PM himself used the term “Chinese Tsunami” in describing to the people on what had happened during the election in which this was his only reason or explanation that he offered about the huge amount of Malaysian Chinese votes to the opposition party – Pakatan Rakyat.

An example of an article regarding the Chinese Tsunami term can be found on The Times of India as well as MalaysiaKini .

I, myself, take this term as a RACIST term. Every Malaysians must realised that each and everyone of us are supposed to be equals in our beloved land but sadly, the reality is we are not. Chinese and Indians will always be second-class Malaysians because of racist remarks such as these.

This is not the first time I’ve seen such a racist remark. By right, the PM himself should think of a better explanation to what had happened. He himself were the one who created 1Malaysia campaign in the country, talking about unity, peace and harmony between races in Malaysia yet he is also the one whom spits racist remarks on the rakyats.

Malaysia is a democratic country. Regardless of what race or religion we are, the common core that unites us is the fact that we are MALAYSIANS.

I am not a traitor of the country just because I do not support the current ruling government in how they govern and how they do things for the people, or so to say.

I love my country very much. I would die for my country if I need to and I truly believe, I am not the only Malaysian who feels that way for Malaysia.

I was born in a Chinese-Kenyah family, bearing a Chinese name yet I do not speak Mandarin or my native tongue, Hakka. However, I speak fluent English, Bahasa Malaysia and Sarawak Malay because of my birthright as a Sarawakian.

Does this makes me a less Malaysian than I should be? Or perhaps a lesser Chinese than I am supposed to be?

A minister once stated in the Parliament, if a Chinese person does not love Malaysia and all that’s happening in the country, please leave and head back to China.

I have to say, I was hurt by such remark. Have we ever mentioned to the Malay people, please leave Malaysia and return to Indonesia or Jawa or to where-ever your ancestors was from because we sure hell know that only the Orang Asli are the true people of land.

And now, Utusan Malaysia had printed out a story with the headline “Apa Lagi Cina Mahu?” translating What More Do The Chinese Want?

What the government doesn’t see is that, it was not only the Chinese that turned up for the rally talks by Pakatan Rakyat during the campaigning period. There were many non-Chinese as well such as the bumiputras.

In my own state Sarawak, there were many non-Chinese supporters that supported and voted for Pakatan Rakyat, be it DAP, PAS or PKR.

Why?

Because each and every one of them believe changes starts with themselves and they are acting towards a better future for themselves and for their children.

As for me…

I believe, the people will only benefit the most when fraud, corruption and racism stops from the very top of the ruling positions which is the leaders themselves.

Take Sarawak for example.

Sarawak is biggest state in Malaysia, full of resource and is one of the main contributors of the nations’ economy yet it is still the poorest state in Malaysia.

Have you seen the roads in Sarawak? I couldn’t even stand sitting in the car for 2 hours from the drive of Miri-Bintulu road!

Do these ministers whom the people had chosen to provide such amenities done so, making Sarawak a better place to live and travel on?

Sarawak has one of the worst roads yet the majority parliament victories come from Sarawak.

Electricity and water supply is another issue in Sarawak.

The funny thing is that, I’d heard in some of the rural areas that the electricity poles are already on the ground yet no cables to deliver such power to the villages. 30 over years yet Sarawak is still at its worst conditions.

But why on the city folks are the ones willing to UBAH and not the rural folks?

The only answer to that is, money.

It saddens me that most of the rural folks are very short-term minded people. With small amounts of money, they are prepared to give away their dignity.

Why be afraid to bring changes to the government?

Their answer will be, ” If we vote for the opposition, no good development will come our way.”

Well, for 30 years, most of the rural folks voted for National Front, what good development do they have?

Do they have proper road system, which is tar road? Do they have clean water supplied to each longhouses? Do they have electricity supplies and need not rely on power generators? What about NCR issues and relocations due to the construction of Baram dam, do the people benefit most from these issues?

It is a NO for each questions.

Although, Pakatan Rakyat had lost in this election in which they did not become the ruling government, I still feel that they do win the hearts of the people. Compared to the previous election and the one before, PR has increased their seats in the Parliament.

This is indeed a very good sign for us who yearns for better changes in the country.

My hope for the next 5 years is that, more people of eligible age to vote will register themselves and more awareness particularly in the rural areas, the so-called BN strongholds be carried on. What we rakyats can do is to pick ourselves up from this fall, dusts it off and be stronger than ever in achieving a better Malaysia together.

We don’t need any slogans or campaign to be united.

By name, we are already in unity because of the common core in each and everyone of us for we are MALAYSIANS.

For a better Malaysia!

Jalur Gemilang – Flag of Malaysia

Stay

By Rihanna feat. Mikky Ekko

All along it was a fever
A cold sweat hot-headed believer
I threw my hands in the air and said, “Show me something,”
He said, “If you dare come a little closer.”

Round and around and around and around we go
Oh now tell me now tell me now tell me now you know

Not really sure how to feel about it.
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can’t live without you.
It takes me all the way.
I want you to stay

It’s not much of a life you’re living
It’s not just something you take – it’s given

Round and around and around and around we go
Oh now tell me now tell me now tell me now you know

Not really sure how to feel about it.
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can’t live without you.
It takes me all the way.
I want you to stay.

Ooh the reason I hold on
Ooh cause I need this hole gone
Funny you’re the broken one but I’m the only one who needed saving
Cause when you never see the light it’s hard to know which one of us is caving

Not really sure how to feel about it.
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can’t live without you.
It takes me all the way.
I want you to stay, stay.
I want you to stay, oh.

My analisis on the video: (purely my opinion)

Video starts with Rihanna stripping her clothes off and got in a bathtub. Extreme close-up shots on her mouth and eyes as she sings the lyrics.
She sits naked in the tub throughout the whole video shows that she is in a vulnerable situation, as naked as she is in the bathtub.
Mikky Ekko is seen sitting in a rather dimly lit room showing his dilemma of what he is facing. However he is always shown with a light shown on him, he is always the lighter one compared to his dimly lit environment showing he is
the good person in the relationship and he wants it to go on.
Rihanna was seen hurt as she sits in the bathtub showing that she is the victim of the broken relationship, one with the most sacrifice compared to the couple.

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